Building Your Self Confidence Muscle

Many of my coaching clients discover that they wish they were more confident in themselves. In their skills, abilities, character, ability to make tough decisions…

And sometimes, the direction of a coaching conversation comes around to learning how to ‘practice’ building the self confidence muscle.

Here’s one of my favorite stories from a wonderful book called “The Art of Possibility” by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander. I love the story because it really sums up how essential it is to practice something new:

Mr. Zander (a world renowned conductor) remembers when he was eleven years old and he was having a cello lesson with his 83 year old master teacher. And he got so frustrated because he tried three times to play a certain musical passage and put down his bow. And the teacher looked at him and said “What? You’ve been practicing it for three minutes and you still can’t play it?”

Practice.
Patience.
Dedication.

Just because we aren’t as good as we’d like to be at a specific skill, does not mean we can never get there. It just means we haven’t yet arrived at a place of satisfaction with our performance yet.

So, whatever is motivating you to build your own self confidence muscle; learning to play musical instrument, a new language, public speaking, stepping into a new position at work, changing jobs altogether, starting a new relationship, speaking up to a parent with your own authentic and strong voice, asking for a raise, seeing a different side of a repeating situation… have the faith that in time and with practice, you can indeed build your self confidence muscle.

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