Good Coaching Begins With The Question: “What Do You Really Want?”

So often, a new client comes to the coaching relationship not realizing that they and they alone are responsible for setting the coaching agenda. That’s why I always start each first session with every new client, going over the basics… the roles and responsibilities of each of us… the expectations.

And once we’ve covered those basics, we usually get to that big question, of “what is it you are really wanting?” which as it turns out is not always easy to answer. Because it is indeed a big question. We often prefer to talk around a big question, rather than dig right in and address it. And part of the role of the Coach is to keep the client focused on answering those tough questions.

In response to my asking the question to my clients over the years, I’ve heard so many different responses… “I want freedom”, “I want to quit my job”, “I want to be a better leader”, “I want to feel more confidence when I make tough decisions”, “I want to feel the work I do makes a difference”, “I want to know I am valued”, “I want to find ways to help my staff be more empowered and productive”… and so the coaching conversation begins.

A good Coach is trained to ask simple questions that prompt reflection, insight and enhanced self- awareness for the client. And there are many great questions deserving to be asked at various times throughout the coaching relationship.

But the question I find myself coming back to time and time again, whether in the first initial session or two weeks later in the second session, or three years later for those clients who find such benefit in having a Coach that they continue, is “what is it you are really wanting now?”

If you have a Coach, you’ll be familiar with this question.

If you don’t have a Coach, ask it yourself from time to time and see where it gets you!