The Downside of Making Assumptions

A few weeks ago, my husband and I dined at one of our favorite restaurants.  We were there early and then off to see a show.  Our server seemed a bit “off” and distracted. He forgot to bring us water, and managed to bring my supper with the sauce on top of the fish, when Ihad specifically asked to have it in on the side. 

  I made an assumption that he wasn’t giving us great service because we were not ordering alcohol or dessert and it wouldn’t be a very large bill.  My assumption.  My bad.

 So when I calmed down and decided to ask him how HE was doing tonight, turns out he was having a really rough day.  He had just hurt his hand an hour before his shift started and didn’t have time to get to a clinic, and his backpack had been stolen earlier in the day so he had lost some valuables. 

 He apologized profusely for his mistakes in our service, but by then, I was more focussed on helping him get his hand looked after than the sauce on my fish.

 I realized, in hindsight, how my assumption had fanned my impatience and frustration.  And that when I pivoted to a  simple inquiry of him, that opened up my compassion and understanding.  And I felt so much better. 

 Funny how ramping down our assumptions and ramping up our curiosity can make all the difference.  In your own experience and in the experience of others.

 Just something to think about!